ICU, High Street, Gravesend, Kent, 2015 • Logo beneath looks like it had fishes on…
Fairfield Security Systems, High Street Arcade, Duke Street, Cardiff, South Glamorgan, CF10, Wales, 2012
Alarming UK Security, Regent Street, Cambridge, Cambridgeshire, CB2, England, 2010 • Here’s a proper one (very different).
Kestrel Alarms, Flask Walk, Camden, London, NW3, England, 2012 • They seem to specialise in take-over labels, there are two others here.
Security Wise, Leg Street, Oswestry, Shropshire, 2014 • And an older Security Wise of the “baton” type, which actually looks like a takeover label.
“Universal Security (UK) Ltd” burglar alarm, Dartmouth • Expansive geographical ambitions, a globe and the universe. Looks like that was an Initial Shorrock underneath. • Spotted: Lower Street, Dartmouth, Devon, TQ6, […]
“Coastal Security” burglar alarm, York • Now on to bodies of water as opposed to actual places. This object looks like it’s been festering in Davy Jones’ locker for many a […]
“MHS Alarm Services Ltd” burglar alarm, Birmingham • That’s enough Romans, here’s a crusader, who seems to have taken over someone else’s alarm. • Spotted: Vale Village, Church Road, Birmingham, West […]
“Advanced SOS Security Group” burglar alarm, Hackney • Only a bit rusty, but looks quite old. • Spotted: Coronet Street, Hackney, London, N1, England, 2011 • Politics: In the Labour constituency […]
“Urban Security Systems” burglar alarm, Brighton • My final city update for now: another, more temporary Urban. That’s a LanGuard bell box underneath, you’ll find an un-defaced one with some comments here. • […]
“Atlantis Secure Systems / Crime Stop” burglar alarm, Newham • […]
“Allied Security Systems” burglar alarm, Tower Hamlets • You can find the same company, but on a on eurobell, here. • Spotted: Coventry Road, Tower Hamlets, London, E2, England, 2007 • […]
“ES Security Alarm” burglar alarm, Tower Hamlets • Just another boring burglar alarm… really not much I can say about this! • Spotted: Pundersons Gardens, Tower Hamlets, London, E2, England, 2005 […]
“Essex Security Services” burglar alarm, Tower Hamlets • Speaking of the Essex ESS, here it is on a circular label. • Spotted: Clare Street, Tower Hamlets, London, E2, England, 2012 […]
“OTL” burglar alarm, Kingston upon Hull • Featuring what appears to be an atom on an oval trajectory round an unexplained acronym. The Large Hadron Collider it ain’t. • Spotted: […]
"Private Security Systems" burglar alarm, Camden • So private, they cut the logo out in bits, then stuck it on blackmail letter-style. In its favour, the stuck-on letters seem to have lasted remarkably well. • Spotted: Fortess Road, Camden, London, NW5, England, 2012 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Holborn and St Pancras
“Abel” burglar alarm, York • Bit of a cheat, because this is just a triangular label. And it’s not even that triangular. • Spotted: Low Petergate, York, Yorkshire, YO1, England, 2011 […]
"Eclipse Alarms" burglar alarm, Stratford-upon-Avon • A painstaking but badly cut-out collage job: someone's printed the logo onto a label, then stuck it piece by piece onto this old Eurobell. There's even a sooty black eclipse image at the top, though it looks more like a bulb has fallen off. • Spotted: Ely Street, Stratford-upon-Avon, Warwickshire, CV37, England, 2012 • Politics: In the Conservative constituency of Stratford-on-Avon
"Securi-Guard" burglar alarm, Fowey • So, now we move on to fortifications on shields, combining the popular tropes of militia and aristocracy. It's amazing the label in question is still attached, because this wins the prize for the slimiest burglar alarm I've ever found. It's on a wave-lashed quayside building in Fowey, Cornwall, famed for being a) hard to say (it's pronounced "foy", to rhyme with "toy") and b) where the novelist Daphne du Maurier lived. She wrote eerie, suspenseful stories such as The Birds, Jamaica Inn and Don't Look Now (all since made into scary films), so perhaps there's a giant pecky bird or stabby red-coated dwarf lurking behind that castellated wall. • Spotted: Town Quay, Fowey, Cornwall, PL23, England, 2012 • Politics: In the Liberal Democrat constituency of St. Austell and Newquay
"Rampart Security" burglar alarm, St Albans • Apart from Bastion, this is the only fortification alarm featured that doesn't actually picture its defences. It's pasted over a vintage Shorrock, unless I'm very much mistaken – although of a type I've not featured yet, I'm surprised to discover. • Spotted: Town centre, St Albans, Hertfordshire, AL1, England, 2010 • Politics: In the Conservative constituency of St Albans
"Stew's Electrical & Security" burglar alarm, Margate • This would better belong with the shield forms at the beginning of my "uncommon shapes" theme, but it's a last-minute discovery and the only example of this box type I've ever found. It's also unique in being cheerily and possessively titled for the proprietor's first rather than last name. The box looks a bit like a cheap, upside-down version of this ESS enclosure – which, according to the commenters, was a chrome shield variation CQR Multibox. All Ramsgate-based Stew's matey details are on a large label, atypical for a sticker in looking professionally-designed. It features tiny icons of those popular security tropes lightning and locksmithery, plus an unusually harmonious (for burglar alarms) pale blue and green colour scheme, which wouldn't look out of place on eco-friendly washing powder. • Spotted: Market Street, Margate, Kent, CT9, England, 2012 • Politics: In the Conservative constituency of Thanet North
"Regal Security Systems" burglar alarm, Lambeth • Many moons ago I featured a Regal sticker which had taken over the shadowy running man on an RH Alarms box. And here's another, probably older design, that's been slapped over an ancient bell box whose name even the magic of Photoshop can't reveal. I found it in the fascinating warren of decaying covered markets that weaves beneath Brixton's railway lines like a multi-ethnic souk. It's now been reinvented as "Brixton Village" and, amidst a tangle of units selling everything from "cheap gold" to goats' heads, is home to a swathe of excellent pop-up eateries, from one of which I took this photo. True to its dodgy reputation, the area is positively bristling with burglar alarms, many as vintage as this one. So although I'm not keen to wander the Coldharbour Lane backstreets with an expensive camera – or even without one, for that matter – I'll be back. Preferably with tactical air cover. • Spotted: Market Row, Brixton, Lambeth, London SW9, England, 2011 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Dulwich and West Norwood
"King Security Ltd" burglar alarm, Sheffield • Only a small crown for this bell box, whose design recalls a kind of 1960s retro-grooviness, or possibly cheap frozen food packaging. It somehow makes me think of hirsute '70s TV detective Jason King: that's him, down below. • Spotted: Wicker, Sheffield, South Yorkshire, S3, England, 2010 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Sheffield Central Above: Peter Wyngarde, plus inadvisable facial hair, as Jason King. Calm down, ladies!
"ICU" burglar alarm, Hackney • My final vision-themed "backronym" offers up the unambiguous message "I see you". It's a nice idea, although the label could equally well be a piece of conceptual street art. Note that the sounder is the first I've posted with seven equal sides – a shape known occasionally as a septagon, but more usually as a heptagon. Or in this case, a hip Hackney heptagon. Fact: its sides all meet at an angle of 128.5714286 degrees. Thank you, Wikipedia! • Spotted: Rivington Street, Hackney, London, EC2, England, 2011 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Hackney South and Shoreditch
"IC Integrated Security Ltd" burglar alarm, Southwark • To end this vision theme, a few examples of punning abbreviations, where the characters stand for entire words or syllables. While broadly acronyms, these seem to be a grey area in the English language, with no precise term for the multifarious kinds of letter-play available, though in an extensive entry, fascinating to those of a sub-editorial bent, Wikipedia suggests "initialism" as a catch-all term. I suspect this is what they would cutely sub-class a "backronym" – "one deliberately designed to be especially apt for the thing being named" – as Integrated Security happily reduces to iC, reading as "I see", or even "eye see". Had the designer dotted the "i" with an eye, this would have created enough levels of punning to end the universe. It possibly did end the company, because their website was last updated in 2009. • Spotted: Old Jamaica Road, Southwark, London, SE16, England, 2010 • Politics: In the Liberal Democrat constituency of Bermondsey and Old Southwark
"ASG Vision" (over "OS Resolution") burglar alarm, Bristol • Aha - I love a sticker, and especially a violent yellow one. Bristol seems to have a particularly thriving burglar alarm ecosystem, and here, ASG Vision have effected a brutal takeover of a hapless OS Resolution box (both firms I have come across this one time only). It's included due to the "vision" reference; what the acronym ASG refers to remains opaque, but I reckon its flamboyant tail is a very abstract eye. • Spotted: Broad Street, Bristol, Avon, BS1, England, 2011 • Politics: In the Liberal Democrat constituency of Bristol West
"Falcon" burglar alarm, Sheffield • A photocopied falcon that's attacked and taken over a cute little Smart Alarm, then – like a cake in Macarthur Park – melted in the rain. Professional! • Spotted: Union Street, Sheffield, South Yorkshire, S1, England, 2010 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Sheffield Central
"Kestrel Alarms" burglar alarm, Brighton • Another Kestrel that's made a hostile takeover, this time of a firm called Keyhole Security, whose name resides in a giant keyhole shape – I need to find one of these unstickered for my "locksmithery" set. Despite sporting Lib-Dem orange, yesterday's Kestrel was in the Conservative consituency of Brighton Kemptown, while this example lives in the only Green constituency in England, Brighton Pavilion. Both Brighton constituencies, along with my blog, will be mightily shaken up if the proposed boundary changes come into effect, morphing into Lewes & Brighton East (likely Tory) and Brighton Pavilion & Hove (likely Labour). In other words, bye bye Greens. (There's a brilliant map from the Guardian here showing the changes.) • Spotted: North Road, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1, England, 2010 • Politics: In the Green constituency of Brighton Pavilion
"Kestrel Alarms" burglar alarm, Brighton • Last week cages, this week birds. I had so many bird alarms I divided them into two parts. The first was "arbitrary birds", which were random and generally benign – bluebirds, doves, macaws and the like. Part two, "hawkish birds", are more fierce, being the kind that rip apart large prey with their talons (technically I should have included owls here, but as they seem to feature on alarms for their cute or wise qualities, they're in with the benign bunch). And although this cartoon Kestrel looks pretty unthreatening – like an avian member of the Blues Brothers, with his cool shades and cheeky smile (or that's how I read it) – he's made an effective hostile takeover of a box previously owned by LanGuard Alarms, a firm who still exist. At first I thought LanGuard was a stupid name, but it was founded by someone called Lang, so there is some logic there. And yes, I do know Lan also means Local Area Network. • Spotted: Old Steine, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1, England, 2004 • Politics: In the Conservative constituency of Brighton Kemptown
"Mayfair Selby" label on "York Alarm Centre" burglar alarm, York • Now we move from locks to chains, of which this is a particularly heraldic example. It once said Mayfair Selby, though the red text has long ago faded away; and by the magic of Photoshop, I have also discovered that the alarm underneath says York Alarm Centre, which presumably exists no more. A security system palimpsest, if you will. • Spotted: Shipton Street, York, Yorkshire, YO30, England, 2011 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of York Central
"Chloride Granley" burglar alarm, Hackney • Another study in London pinks and grey-blues, and a most unusual alarm. The logo Chloride Granley has been spray-stencilled, graffiti-style, onto an older Granley box, beating Banksy stylistically by some decades. Below it is some genuine modern graffiti in the form of a white arrow, setting off the alarm nicely (in the artistic, rather than the siren, sense). It's more normal to add a sticker when an alarm firm has been taken over, and this is the only stencilled effacement I've ever found; I'd be interested to know if there are any further examples around. • Spotted: Leonard Street, Hackney, London, EC2, England, 2010 • Politics: In the Labour constituency of Hackney South and Shoreditch
"Regal Security Systems" burglar alarm (stickered over RH Alarms), Wandsworth • Oh, the ignominy – having another firm's logo plastered over your head. There's enough of the original design showing to discern that this is an RH Alarms box, the same as yesterday's faded felon – their trademark running figures had clearly become yesterday's men. The Regal design is also pretty ancient by now, and looks inspired by the 1980s works of Neville Brody (famed art director of style mag The Face), especially his 1984 record sleeve for Marilyn's Baby U Left Me. I'm sure the logo font is one of his: it's like a cross between Dome and Typeface 4. I can't find a digital version, but of course any old designer could have photocopied the letters from magazine headlines, as was common practice pre-DTP. However Brody did design things like estate agents' boards in his earlier days, so it's not inconceivable he had a hand in this – and a conspiracy theorist would note that his font foundry, Fuse, ran a design competition on the theme of security in 2005. The only regal connotations of the honeycomb device are royal jelly and queen bees (or, coincidentally, The Royal College of Art, where Neville Brody is now head of graphics), but the conceit of taking an aristocratic title is very common amongst the burglar alarm fraternity – and a theme I shall return to. • Spotted: Battersea Park Road, Wandsworth, London, SW11, England, 2002 • Politics: In the Conservative constituency of Battersea